The weirdest text message I have receive could be the one I received more than a year ago. It reads:“You are laughing at me because I’m different. I’m better than you. #spellkafeeling.”
There are reasons why I classified the message weird. It came from an unknown sender. So why did the sender send it to me? The sender said, “You are laughing at me because I’m different.” Why the sender thought she/he is being laugh at just because she/he is different? How does the sender differ from us the recipients? The sender is a braggart when he said, “I’m better than you.” Kafeeling is a Batuwanon expression for pretentious. The sender is no less different from the people laughing at him in being pretentious when he claimed he is better than them.
I replied to him, “Ignore what others say about you. If you give them a damn, they get shit they want from you.” The anonymous sender texted me several times after that exchange but I never replied. I don’t like textmates!
In school we are taught of Psychology, from there we learn that classmate who solve math problem like eating camote is not better than our classmate sings like Mariah Carey. They differ in intelligence one has Logical-Mathematical and the other has Musical. Let us thank Gardner for his Theory on Multiple Intelligences. What we regard as talents before are now viewed as intelligences.
Among the intelligences identified by Howard Gardner are Interpersonal (the sensitivity to the behavior, moods and the needs of others) and Intrapersonal (the ability to understand oneself). Gardner’s theory is congruent with Goleman’s. Goleman identified Emotional Intelligence or EQ that affords the individual to be aware of his own and other’s emotions, to recognize the difference of each emotion, and to use the information to guide his thinking and actions. Knowing what is the right to say at the right time is a display of Gardner’s Interpersonal Intelligence and Goleman’s EQ.
Why am I writing a piece on being intelligent? There was an incident in our school that involved my girlfriend. My girlfriend rebuked her classmate who carelessly name calling another “patal”–stupid in Batuwanon. Instead of being thankful of the gentle reminder not to call names, my girlfriend’s classmate turned her anger to my girlfriend. Summoned the thunder and lightning like Suez then threw them to my girlfriend. My exaggeration may not suffice the wrath of words she told my girlfriend.
To have the audacity to call someone patal or stupid, one must be convinced and firmly believe that she is more intelligent than others. (#spellkafeeling echoes from my anonymous ephemeral textmate.) Since she is claiming she has higher IQ, isn’t it right that we expect that she could had handle better my girlfriend’s correction? Instead of throwing personal attacks at my girlfriend, why didn’t she use her self-declared intelligence to weigh the correction and device a more pleasant reaction? The vicious lady could have asked herself, “Why is my classmate telling not to call others patal?” One does not need to understand the denotation of the word norm to know calling someone patal is wrong. I don’t question my girlfriend’s classmate’s brilliance, but her actions show that she lacks Interpersonal Intelligence.
My anonymous textmate and my girlfriend’s classmate have something in common– they both claim they are better than us. Hearing someone claim she is better than us would make us want to stone her to death. But before you pick up a stone and aim at her, let us look at the other side of the coin first. The vicious classmate might just a victim of circumstances. Everybody wants to be loved and respected and if she failed to get the love and respect she hungers for, she does unconventional stratagems even at the expense of others.
Germans are known to be précised. They showed their precision when they coined the word schadenfreude –from the German Schaden damage and Freude joy. The Broadway musical Avenue Q defines schadenfreude as “happiness from the misfortune of others”. This is akin to Filipino crab mentality. I think we superceded the Germans because we don’t only delight in misfortune of others, but also we enjoy more when we drag others down.
Beware of people afflicted with insecurities. When they saw you got confident about yourself they are quick to say kafeeling. They are filled with insecurities and they don’t want to be left behind in the realm of insecurities. Their insecurities are even intensified when then saw you break away from the chain of insecurities. They will shackle you again and secure the locks to prevent you from escaping again. A person filled with insecurities is insecure of being insecure.
My girlfriend told me other incident where her vicious classmate belittled one of their classmates. Let V is my girlfriend’s vicious classmate and X is another classmate who was a victim of V. X was told to join by her classmates to join the town fiesta beauty pageant. V carelessly said X has beautiful body and face but she doubts if X has enough intellect to join the pageant. As far as I know one does not to be a genius to qualify for a beauty pageant. By the way it is called a beauty pageant not a quiz bee.
If you think you are intelligent, people will eventually notice it even you are not bragging about it. You do not need to make others look bad to highlight your brilliance. Intelligence is not a license to be arrogant and call someone stupid. Never settle on being intelligent, seek to be wise. If you are wise you know how to use your intelligence.